"do you really want to?"...she asks

i knew it...
i felt it...
i could tell in her voice when she called...
something was wrong...

Asad you idoit.
you irresponsible fool...
you keep saying you will do it and then you don't.
what will people say if they ask you to do something and you tell them: "hey, no disrespect or nothin', i'm kind of burned out! i'll get to it when i'm able to get to it!" YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!! You must meet expectations! BUT... in a desire to not let people down, you keep saying you'll do it and then, when you don't, you only end up letting them down. whats going on? what's the real problem? IS IT TRUE?? Is it really an issue of not having my priorities straight.... will I become less burned out through prioritizing?

i don't know... i have so much to do, and everything is seen as a priority by the one who has asked me to do it. being unable to prioritize = no priorities. i really don't WANT to do anything. everything is equally NOT a priority. i want to escape. and knowing that i can't, only makes me want it more...

what do i do...
i tell her that maybe its because of too many things going on at the same time. maybe after my schooling is done, or... but she is right! how can she be sure that there is any room for her right NOW? i sure as hell havn't demonstrated it.... can I make room?? she asks if i really want to get married? and why?

well... one reason i'm getting married really is because society has determined that i should get married. but what do i think... should i do what society expects?? (the answer is yes... its not fun being the only one among your friends who is not married... its not fun always being asked 'so when are you getting married'... its not fun... its time to move to the next stage in life... marriage... kids... companionship...) but i'm asked: Are you ready? well... am i? probably not? i wish i wasn't so burned out... an arranged marriage with someone from a different culture, lifestyle, that i met only twice? it will require time and effort. am i ready to take it on? the answer is no, i'm not ready. but when will i ever be? at some point in life we just have to go ahead and do something you are not completely ready for.... something that is important and can probably bring in to your life something that is missing...

i tell myself that marriage between two people who weren't quite comfortable with each other have work out fine. my parents, my grandparents, several friends... have all done well. i really do think that marriage and love are two separate things. she might not have (or get) the type of devotion she expects from someone that is madly in love with her (or even someone who is reliable and deserves to be trusted to be a faithful companion). i've done a lousy job of proving myself. if anything i've done the opposite. she has every reason to feel hesitant. but she should know that she will have someone who knows about the importance of family and responsible relationships. and believes in the evolution of an arranged relationship into a loving marriage. i don't know what else to say... my mind is going blank.

measurements and a mid term

how can measurements be such a hard thing to get? i needed to have myself measured for my wedding clothes. I also had to recommend a Sherwani style i like. I said i'd do it by friday... of LAST WEEK!! Last Friday, on the due date, I started carying around, in my back pocket, a printout of the measurement form my fiance e-mailed me. my future in-laws needed them ASAP to give to a tailor. I just needed to find someone to take them so that i could send the reply. It didn't happen. I don't know why? I would arrive home with the form still in my back pocket, empty! WHY?? How hard is it to stop at some dry cleaner or... AHAA!! A MACY's behind the wall of the construction site that i've been going to for the past week for building inspections... I'm such a moron.... so, a couple of hours ago, I FINALLY GOT THEM! I finished making the cylinders for the pour going on, and I loaded the concrete cylinders made the previous day. I completed my structural inspections. I signed the log at the trailer. and I hosed off my boots (including the dirt and concrete on the bottom of my pants). and I went to the nice clean MACY's suit section for measurements. I had left the house in the morning and now it was already 2pm. no time to go to the office today. Now... I wanted to get to the unversity a little early so that I could do some last minute review of my notes before the Mid-Term at 3pm. But NO! I must get those measurements.... Its been little things like this that kept me from being able to get the measurements before. Its hard when everything is a priority. It becomes so stressful that nothing stays a priority for more then a brief moment in my mind and everything becomes a drag.... Eventhough its an hour drive from the construction site to campus, I wish i was able to drive in a thunderstorm and study at the same time. I try, I attempt to open my notebook... DAMN!! its not going to work. Its raining too hard... It is said that a successful marriage is about compromise and sacrifice (it is especially true for the wedding itself). my mid-term had to take the hit this time. I don't mind. (I can say this after its over now, luckily it wasn't too hard.)...

I have so much i need to do i guess it would help if i take a moment to jot them down: (in no particular order, other then how they come to mind) 1.get the rolls brakes fixed. 2.get the pool fixed 3.get the house landscaping finished 4.get the office construction done-decide on what i want to do about the construction permit -now mind goes blank... think think 5.get done with choosing the place for the wedding reception in miami -mind goes blank... think think 6.make diagrams needed for my thesis site study 7.finish finding the climate data and wind directions for miami of my site study... mind goes blank... think think... 8.finish cleaning out the closets, dependant upon on the sorting of the garage 9. finish sorting the garage, dependant upon fixing the rolls (OK i guess not, i can just pull it out of the garage until the next hurricane warning) 10.finish fixing the boat 11.decide what to do with the boat, should i sell it? the rent is too much for it to just sit there all the time not being used... think think what else do i have to do... oh yeah, 12.return Jihad's file on AMILA(i've had it since before he left Austin) 13.finish the hadith table i'm making for my sunday school students 14.finish dealing with the partition issue for the the school 15.finish the cost/benefit analysis on school space options 16.start writing the paper due on tuesday for theory class 17.start working on the project due for professional practice class ...think think what else do i have to do... 18........i think about the wedding in pakistan... what do i have to do for that... what do i do to gain some trust with mehreen... 18. buy a phone card to be able to call mehreen more often... 19.tell everyone to stop backbiting and gossiping and second quessing each others intentions............ 20.deal with the loan issue to pay off the property 21.get Ragiv to give me an update on the finances of the company 22.finish with dealing with Basit and the company marketing brochure 23.... i guess thats all that comes to mind right now, but i have a feeling there is more... i'll continue this list later... actually i'll post an update to this list with everything prioritized and check off which ones are complete and which ones still need to start...

...God Bless America

sunday night, after a hard day of pumping out dirty water and cleaning out the left overs of my neighbor's large beautiful tree that hurricane Katrina toppled into my pool, my mother informed me that Nani-ammi's oath ceremony is at 8am tomorrow morning....
i go to sleep thinking "oh great!!! its raining like crazy outside".

Citizenship is a wonderful thing...
i served as my grandmother's translator as she went through the face to face citizenship interview and oral exam. she passed! and now, monday morning, the big day had come. the oath taking ceremony, the final step in a process that began when she first arrived here in the mid 1980s...

i woke up at 6 am. i had to go pick her up and then drive to the miami beach convention center during rush hour. but before that... the pump i rented to drain the pool is due at 8:30, the place opens at 7. i better leave the house by 6:30 to pick up my Nani... from her house it will take one hour to get to the beach. but before i leave, can i go one more round of pumping?... Yeah! the rain from the night before must be drained for me to continue cleaning my pool......

...6:45 i'm running to pack up the pump into my mother's car so that she can return it for me. Damn! I'm LATE!!!! Early morning traffic has built up on Hialeah's streets and there is no way i'm going to make it.

...7:30 we are on the road, Nani-ammi is amazingly calm for someone who is about to miss the ceremony, and I'm driving as fast as i can when you have a grandmother in the passenger seat next to you. she tells me about how she has no metel boxes in her purse this time (to carry her pan) she has eaten it before we left

...8:00 we finally make it to the Highway to Downtown. and by this time we start talking about what we will need to do to get into the ceremony at Noon. The noon ceremony is when my Aunt and my cousin are scheduled to take their oath. What can we do? Will they reschedule? What will they say? How hard will it be? I hope I haven't caused a major delay in her process... everything was going so well.

...9:00 we finally find a parking spot as close as you can get to the convention center entrance. Thanks to my father's diabetes I have inhereted his Disabled Parking Permit. I was probably meant to have it just for this occasion. we approach the security guard at the closed doors to Hall C, the one her invitation letter tells her to report to...

"better run if you plan on get through those doors before they close!... Enter through Hall D" he says.

WHAT???
ONE HOUR LATE!
and I still made it!!

We are among the last to enter the hall...
I see them closing the doors behind us...

We are rushed towards the next Hall and told that they are about to start. Its so exciting! I'm so emotional at this point, so happy that I have to hold back an unusual desire to cry as I walk hand in hand with my Nani as fast as she can towards her assigned section...

Thank God its the first section!

The ceremony begins a couple of minutes after we take our seat...
imagine "we would have been sitting hear for an hour" she says to me....
we better tell my sister to get here early for the noon ceremony...

some thoughts that came to mind that can be developed in later posts:

-the MC says that he will call out the countries of origin that are present and asks folks to rise when their's is named. cheers and claps are heard when a country is called. its strange how people retain a pride of their former place of citizenship, yet also don't feel it is important enough to live there anymore. is this unique to the american experience?...

-in the oath the new citizens vow to defend and fight for the nation by joining its military if the law makes them, being a born citizen myself, i never had to take such an explicit vow, maybe if i did, i would see loyalty, patriotism, and war differently...

-i'm amazed in the way you can replace the words "america" and "democracy" with "islam" and nothing would change in the way you talk about the two, does this mean that they inevitably become competeing forces when they become imperial. i guess not, because they are not equal at the moment, the rise of america has come long after the decline of islam. the difference is that while islam is spoken of in imperial ways it is only talk based on what used to be, while america is happening now...

-i'm amazed as to how much reference there is of God during the ceremony they play the song "God Bless the USA," the new citizens are led by one of their own as they say the pledge of alegience "...one nation under God" it just makes me think about the point i made earlier in the similarity and apparent conflict with islam...

-as my grandmother rises when the MC calls out Pakistan, i rise with her, so while i never really was "from pakistan", i kind of acknowledged it now in some way, i was conscious of this idea as i was standing there...

-many americans take some sort of formal oath that makes them conscious of their duties as a citizen, i think there should be some sort of formal oath to make those of us born here that aren't in the military, or naturalized immigrants, aware of our rights and responsibilities. maybe it should take place on a state by state basis. when a born citizen of a state becomes 18 they should be forced by law to register to vote and serve for a 2 year term as a member of the national guard of the state, maybe only 2 months minimum of which should be "active service" for your fellow citizens, and the first time they go to vote or do their service, at the polling place or at the guard training center they would take the oath. i think our country as a whole would benefit from something like this in each state. those of us that are born here would be just as conscious of our citizenship as those who choose to become americans are.

the call

when you fall in love,
there is a desire to be in the company of the beloved.

to gaze at her beauty. to touch her soft skin. a sensual experience, where you share a time and a place together...

what if this is not possible,
what do you do if you cannot be in her physical company?

i guess that is where the phone comes in, a way to share a time but be in different places. you fullfill your desire of company through hearing her beautiful voice. you feel satisfied to at least be able to talk to your beloved...

and if that is not possible, then there are ways to at least be with her intellectually, experiencing a virtual companionship with the one you long to be with, using the old method of sending love letters, or new technologies that speed up the virtual process....

* how wonderful, that longing to be in the company of the beloved....... so what do i do if i'm not yet in love, what do i do to fall in love with the woman i've selected for marriage?

bismillah

i will start this blog with past writings regarding issues that are very important to me. or were important to me when i wrote what i wrote. issues regarding identity, faith, activism, love...
enjoy.

simplicity and experience

i like cermonial events,
but i don't like things that are exagerated or too extravegant. i like simplicity.

simplicity is related to elegance.

i have observed that everything elegant has an element of simplicity to it. we should have elegance in ceremonial events. and to have elegance they should be simple. by simple i don't mean austere, or minimalist.

for example: if i desire a cloth with patterns on it, i can have those patterns embroidered on with shimmering beads and different color threads, or i can have that pattern built into the weaving of the cloth, in the same color of the cloth. i think thats what i mean by simplicity.

i don't want to sacrifice beauty or elegance, but for some things to be beautiful and elegant they must sometimes be simple. but it does depend on the particular situation. there may be situations where its the application of a pattern with shimmering beads that makes it beautiful. i hope this makes sense.

now...
what makes the ceremony an event is the experience people have at the ceremony...

by experience, i mean i don't like things that are staged for show and/or overly planned out, especially if the planning involves recording the event for posterity, often involving a camera, picture or video. i don't think a camera should decide the pace and the places of the people at the event. its like staging an event to be recorded rather then recording whats going on. we should forget the picture perfect, forget what others will think, and just go with the moment, experience it to the fullest. let the cameras capture the reality of imperfections rather then the perfect images.

blind following

...sometimes its quite liberating to follow blindly.
it frees you from worrying about your actions. *It shouldn't free you from being held accountable for your actions! but, when you carry out an act that has precedent in local tradition, i'm sure you are quite worry free as you do it. blindly following is also related to the idea of imitation. we imitate in order to learn how to do something.

when confronted with a situation in which we don't know how to act, we can do one of two things:
-learn about the best course of action and take it;
-or imitate what others we are familiar with have done (tradition).

not all tradtion is bad. it can be the case that centuries of tradition have refined a practice into an excellent form. (for example, in architecture there are master craftsmen like masons and carpenters who learned through imitation).

questioning inhereted values and marriage

some say that we don't think about our values enough, that we just imitate without thought. but i think inhereted values are questioned all the time. and i think they always have been. nothing is exactly the same as it was. things are always adapting to new circumstances. most of the time its in small ways that go unnoticed. and occasionally there is something that shows up which causes drastic changes quite rapidly (like the internet). love is one of those values, but a wedding is not a value, it is an inherited method of conducting a marriage... inhereted practices are questioned and modified just as much as inhereted values are. if one was to find a historical record of how weddings were conducted in colonial karachi and compare them to weddings now, there would be enough changes to prove my point. marriage is an inherited method of creating order... the concept of marriage is definately a value, but it's purpose is to create order. and trying to change anything that disrupts the established order faces resistence from those who maintain that order. its quite natural. but questioning the idea of marriage is very different from questioning the methods of conducting a marriage. to question the idea of marriage is almost like questioning the idea of order itself. that piece of paper, the marriage contract, that contractual agreement between two parties is where change can be forced.

poser activism

recently, a self sacrificing immigration attorney was taken out of action by the government... that's scary stuff... but here's what i find interesting, "The sixteen-year-old admits that previously, she did not want to be a lawyer because she hardly saw her mother, who was working all the time. Forgay has changed her mind. “Now, after seeing what happened to my mom, they may be able to stop her, but they can’t stop me from helping people who need it.”" at the ISNA convention a couple of years ago, there was a film being shown in the film festival that my brother was coordinating. it was about the Union Carbide gas plant disaster in Bhopal India that happened several years ago. well, the Indian government did very little for the people affected by that disaster. And now the mothers of kids who died of gas poisoning and don't want to see such a thing ever happen again or want to be justly compensated for their suffering have become some of the strongest activists for that cause. To me these are REAL activists. there is a real passion that you notice in their voices when they speak - or in their eyes when they look at the camera - or in their fist when they clinch it. Its a passion that i didn't have when i would organize something for Palestine, or Bosnia, or Kosova. don't get me wrong, its not that i felt nothing, but i didn't really care about the cause to say "by any means necessary". and that is what distinguishes a Real activist from the poser that i was/am. Over the past few years I've come to believe I have no business speaking about that which i don't know. And the things I know are islamic art and poser-activism. The responsibility to organize lies with those who are most directly affected. They have the passion that is required to see the mission accomplished. They will succeed or they will die trying. without that drive any activism is a waste of time. a diversion from responsibility that will no doubt make the pseudo-activist feel good, but in the end will do little to advance the cause. Last night I attended a fundraising event for an organization founded by a Pakistani pop singer, Shahzad Roy, it runs primary schools for poor rural pakistani kids and pays them to attend (in an effort to curb child labor and educate poor kids)... now how does this fit into my views of activism... well, there is a difference between issue oriented activism and institution building: both require organization and struggle; both require a means of support; both require people with a passion for the cause... activists may be involved in institution building but building an institution does not make you an activist. I admire that lawyer's daughter for what she wants to do. She has the ingredient that can make her more powerful then her mother. More powerful then all the lawyers working in CAIR or the ACLU combined. The effort to gain more civil rights is feuled by people like her. I admire activists. I support activists. My aunt in Pakistan is a women's rights activists. And if I'm affected by something that leads to a passion in me for a change, I hope that I can be the type of activist that the cause needs and not the type that gets in the way. peace and love.

Oh my God! i'm getting married

its starting to hit me now. for a long time the idea of me getting married was kind of abstract. even after i gave her the ring. maybe because there was no date, it still felt like an idea, not reality. so it didn't really affect me so much. but now... i'm feeling it. that "oh my god i'm getting married!" feeling. it hit me after a phone call from mahreen. its not bad or good, its just a feeling i havn't felt before. i'm kind of feeling helpless. my mind starts to go blank when i think about what i have to do now. even though my sister and my mamoo got married in karachi, i didn't do any of the planning. i've felt helpless before, back when i was having difficulties in architecture school. but that was a bad helplessness, it was mixed with a hopelessness about the future, this time i'm actually looking forward to the future. i can see it, touch it, taste it. i want it. i want her. but to get to be with her, i have to do something that i don't know. in a place that i don't know. and that makes me feel a little helpless. i ask myself "what do i do next?" and i have no answer. i thought i knew our traditions, but at the moment, i can't recall any procedures and protocals. images of past weddings flash in my mind. but they are completely out of sequence. this will be such an important event in our lives and here i am not able to comprehend how to do it. i can see why my mother was so nervous, and why she wanted her brother and mother to be with her. i'm feeling the same loss of my father that she's been feeling for the past few months. that feeling of loss comes and goes. i felt it last year when we were going through reforms in our company, and i feel it now. but when i think about the reception we would have here in miami. i feel good. i can imagine the happy faces of all of my fathers friends. they kind of see me as a son, i was one of the first of their kids to be born in miami. they are really looking forward to this. i imagine that miami event, and the nervousness kind of goes away. while most of what i need to do will be taken care of by my mother, it's time for me to call my cousins and get some advice on what my role should be.

to submit

so, it seems the stars have determined my personality and character traits
they say I seek balance, I seek harmony, I try to see both sides: ie. indecisive
...that sure sounds like me.

...they say that me and that lioness will fit like missing pieces of a puzzle!
each complimenting the other,
making the picture complete!
...nice.
...got lucky I guess.
…what if they had said otherwise?

now... why do I find it hard to have faith in the stars?
or any other type of determinism…
maybe they are God’s way of giving clues to how everything works.
to be used in conjunction with prophetic sayings and holy revelations.
He seems to have made things easy to figure out.
...if I use the right key!

I must find the Key Master!

ahh... determinism.
my genetic code has determined my natural abilities and weaknesses
my looks, my habits,
...my potential diabetes damn it!
...and I know my upbringing and peers have determined my values

...oh, and lets not forget...
- it is said that God has determined who I will marry and how and when I die
and the ground in which I will be buried will drag my body to it:
"mitti khech ke..."

- Darn!...
it seems that anything I will try to do to affect these,
will only screw the programming up,
or fall in line with that which is meant to be anyways.

...If I let go of my ego
and these foolish delusions of freedom
it seems I can live a stress free life.
- All I have to do is submit...

take the punches to the gut...
take it like a man...
smile, just lie down and wait to die.

- ahhh... to submit...

to become a slave to determinism.

- So...
why can’t I do it...
why can’t I relinquish this useless need to control?
why am I so skeptical...
is that also part of my programming?
determined by the genetic code for my brain?
or thoughts springing from a consciousness planted by the Divine?
or is that a glitch in this system?
a weakness susceptible to exploitation by that cursed shaitan!
Stop that evil whispering!
you damned dirty bastich!!!
...and let me submit!!

a love riot

my heart aches...in my trips to pakistan over the past few years i've noticed a serious need. the need for a love riot...the muhabbat is missing...its among people i call family!!! something has gone...where's the light hearted fun and laughter? i remember it from my childhood...i want a return to that INNOCENCE! something new has taken its place...a tension filled drama fueled by gossip and backbiting he-said/she-said bull****...i despise it!! ...it makes me want to SCREAM!!!maybe its not new...maybe its always been there and i was too young to notice...O Allah! Why the Mmmph did you open my eyes to muhabbat...?? Damn you Hafiz... Why did you teach me about ishq??? I didn't know it in childhood...I want a return to that IGNORANCE!! NO NO NO!! no... I refuse to believe that its always been there! This stuff IS new...as my mothers cousins have grown up, they have started to dislike each other and fight among themselves...as my own cousins have grown up, some have become quite miserable people...i remember them as happy kids..."Oh but there are reasons Asad!" "You don't know..." please... please shut up!! there are always reasons to argue, reasons to hate...but I want to have hope that there are more reasons to love...I want to hope...I want to love...I refuse to share in their misery. I want to start a love riot...I want to grab the next relative i see saying this or that about another relative and kiss them on the lips to make them shut up...pucker up fools...here i come!!!

impulsive actions

i deleted some things i posted on orkut about my engagement. i felt that what i had said had been read and now i didn't want a written record of it. so i just deleted them. i wanted my words to live on only as a legend told by others. for them to spark "the legendary love of asad and mahreen"!!! i didn't think of the negative consequences of the delete, some people were really upset by the delete, they started to think something was wrong ...i didn't realize that people had taken possession of my words. its like i went in and stole something. it even caused confusion for mahreen... our relationship is still quite fresh... i don't want my mis-steps to cause doubts... doubts must give way to understanding... so i explain why i did what i did. i like the excitement of impulsive actions and its aftershocks. it's hard for me to be troublemaker in the real world... too much of a acha bacha... so i cut myself loose for brief moments that i go into the virtual! i want to start a love riot among our relatives. i think i want too much... wait... a love riot???!!?!?? hmmm...

absence is to love...

impromptu poetry whispered to a beloved gets the job done then vanishes into the realm of imagination! sometimes its good that those words are not recorded... they inspire feelings and thoughts in the heart of the beloved. but those thoughts are raw... they need to be cooked... separation provides the fire! i will leave it to your imagination to remember what i said...

but this reminds me of a quote i read on a soldiers blog. the soldier goes by the name 'thunder 6' and his blog is called '365 and a wake up'. its a great blog, very powerful. here's the quote: "absense is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguished the small, and inflames the great."

...how true... i want to be the type who can inspire a love so great that absence cannot extinquish it. right now i have a problem of communication. i don't know if my words are powerful enough to sustain a love through physical absence. and it becomes a bigger problem when the words themselves become absent.

i'm an extremist?

i've learned that several of my relatives in pakistan think of me as an extremist. i'm no extremist! i only pretend to be an extremist... no i'm kidding!! i don't pretend to be anything. ...i AM quite traditional. meaning: ...1- i acknowledge the traditions of my parents and ancestors; ...2- i appreciate those traditions; ...3- i try to understand them; ...4- i try to follow those that seem to be relevant to making my life better.... by better, i mean: more grounded and happy!

* i do think that there are some major forces at work that are causing instability in the world around us. among the desi muslims i know in america: some people find security from this instability in the outward symbols of religion. some find it in superficial indo-pak culture. for me i guess its tradition. real tradition.... but my tradition and religious identity was not by choice, i just grew up in it. and sometime around the age of 18, i began to appreciate it. but i also try to understand the "why and how" of it, so that i can make the necessary adjustments to it, to keep it relevent to my life as an american. this includes my religion. i try to gain knowledge of it. i try to follow it, but am not a zeleot for all of its outward symbols. maybe, the relatives in pakistan think of me as more traditional because they compare me to themselves. in my trips to pakistan, I found that I had read much more than many of them about our religion and culture. They form an active part of my conscious identity. For many in pakistan its passive, being from india or being muslim is taken for granted, its only natural.... but because i'm more passionate about my religious identity then them, I can see why they would think I was MORE traditional and hence probably extreme. But a Fact remains... My side of the clan really IS more traditional. I think of a family chart i created several years ago.... There were a bunch of Naqvi sisters a few generations up: one married an Alavi, one married a Kureshi, one married an Abassi, and one married an Usmani... Abbasi and Usmani were my great grandparents...Usmani was Mufti-e-Azam of Hyderabad and very religious, much more traditional then any of the other names i mentioned. Its something I'm proud of. My grandmother is his daughter. My mother is his grand daughter. the force...uh, i mean the tradition, runs quite strong in my family.... But i don't think this make me extreme. It DOES mean that i grew up with much more religion and tradition than other relatives, Eventhough i was in America, most probably because I was in America.... ahhh, and this leads me to another possible reason why i guess they think of me as more traditional then i am. Most of my relatives have a stereotype of how liberal a pakistani becomes in America. I don't fit that stereotype. plus, there is a slight difference how i am among my elders and how i am among my close friends. i maintain a certain amount of adab when i'm with elders. so this porbably adds to their perception of me as more traditional then other americans.

consumerism

Omri mamu said "There was a time when one went to Lahore and knew he was there before he could see the nametag of the city on the Railway Station. I don’t think that may be true anymore. For that matter, I don’t think that may be true for other metros of Pakistan also and is trickling down to our other ‘exotic’ locations. The individualities of the places, attitudes, cultures, etc. are the victims of ‘Commercialism’ running amuck."...

The individualities of a place consist of what:

... 1: first the physical characteristics -
- race and ethnicity of the people and the language they use to communicate;
- then the local resources available to make shelter, clothing, food.

... 2: next the cultural characteristics -
- what they do to “socialize”relax, recreate, and celebrate (music, sport, festivities, etc);
- how they govern their communites (family and government structure, etc);
- what they do to earn a living using the local resources (industries, commerce, services, etc);
- how they transmit their shared knowledge and language to each other and to their children (literature, arts and sciences)

... from among the above, what exactly is the victim of “commercialism” and how?
how is he defining “commercialism”?

... dictionary.com gives me three:
... 1-The practices, methods, aims, and spirit of commerce or business.
... 2-An attitude that emphasizes tangible profit or success.
... 3-transactions (sales and purchases) having the objective of supplying commodities (goods and services).
this last one is from princeton university.

... -The last definition does not exclude it from being different in different regions. A form commercialism can exist within any individual community that operates through buying and selling. It is neither positive or negative for a community, it is neutral. But if it is accompanied by an attitude that emphasizes profits or success, I can see how someone would consider it positive or negative. But what if the individual community already had the idea of profit as a part of its culture? An argument can be made that the community’s commercialism, is a part of its individuality.

... -Sure, I can see how when the commodities being sold go from being regional ones to ones supplied from outside the region, it can cause a decrease in the distinctiveness of the community given to it by the region’s resources and its own people.

... -There are natural upheavals like catastrophes—earthquakes, volcanic eruptions come to mind—that are non-controllable phenomena. Commercialism can also be categorized in just such a way, can’t it?

... -I can understand how a drastic change in the natural environment can change the regional resources available to buy and sell, build with, make clothing with, and make food with. or how a disaster can wipe out a significant portion of an ethnicity in a region. This obviously has effects on the physical characteristics that give a region its individuality and distinctness. And yes much of it is beyond control. and will most likely cause a “paradigm shift".

... -But, to claim that “commercialism” is similarly uncontrollable might be a stretch. I need more information to understand what he means. How is “commercialism” uncontrollable? As long there is a demand for a product there will be commerce for that product. So I can see how it can never really be eliminated, but I can see many ways that it can be controlled. Didn’t soviets do it? Don’t Cuba and North Korea do it now?

... -They all cause a paradigm shift in the way people think, live, socialize. The shift manifests itself ruthlessly like it has a mind of its own and doesn’t care whether anybody likes it or not. It has an edge to it like someone saying, “so sue me!”
Sure, I agree, often a change in thinking fed by uncontrollable events is so pervasive that one person or even small groups of people can do nothing much to counter its effects. There was a similar paradigm shift in the thoughts of most average americans after the events of 9/11, it was a paradigm shift involving they way they viewed security as opposed to liberty......

Omri mamu claims that "Initially, it was the five-star hotel chains that led the way."

... -What about Coke and Pepsi? What about Toyota and Suzuki? I think there were many goods and services that came from outside Pakistan, long before the hotel chains. Now, there is a tendency to ignore the particular goods and services that Karachites sell to other regions within Pakistan, or Lahorians sell to Balochistinians, or Kashmirites sell to Peshawaristaninians. And aside from it being local or alien, does it make a difference if the product is branded by a maker who has incorporated him/her/itself as a protection from liability? Should preference be given to the unincorporated local product maker?

... -Now, about brands. It was a natural evolution of commerce to figure out that a logo and a brand can help sell something. Is this inherently an evil thing? When technological advancements enabled the creation of photography, radio, television, and internet, should sellers be denied the use of these to sell legitimate goods and services? What if the maker of the branded product is local and unincorporated? What if the selling of these goods and services brings much needed economic growth to a stagnant region?

... -What if the local product made from regional resources is not able to brand itself and thus sells less? Does this mean that controls must be placed on goods from outside the region? What if the local product is of bad quality? Does the elimination of competition, by better products from outside, give the local brand the incentive to improve? What measures should be put in place to ensure an improved local product, a local product that does not get drowned out by the brand from outside that has more name recognition and more money for research and development of its product? Should I simply stop asking these types of questions, bail out from the system, and simply advocate a non-commercial counter-cultural lifestyle that reinforces a possession free non-competitive regionalism?

... -However, it was only the privileged and the elite who felt the ‘uniqueness of total offer.’ That was followed by the phenomena of satellite television and fast food chains. When this happened, as they say, all heck broke loose. Now when one goes out of Karachi to any other metro city in Pakistan or vice versa, one is apt to not get the distinct impression that one is in a different city.

Omri mamu also claims that "Progressively, the chances are that it will get worse."

... -I think it helps if we don’t think of it as getting better or worse. I think we must see it as a natural evolution of human life, commerce being a part of it. The choice is clear: become like a Dubai, a place with little local distinctiveness other then the desert environment on its outskirts, or retain some of the distinctiveness that comes from not only your natural environment but also from earlier traditional practices. Local leaders, elite, artists, teachers, must instill a pride of their regional environment and cultural traditions. Local corporations must produce quality products that take advantage of regional characteristics but don’t harm the region. Local governments must encourage and support local industry so locals have a means of employment. The people must build and hold accountable a strong independent justice system to hold corporations liable for lying about a product, and the damage a product causes. Ha! Easier said then done Asad!

... -OK OK, I’m afraid chances are that it will “get worse”. People continue to get suckered into buying products from outside that cause physical harm and a loss of distinctiveness of culture. People do not develop a pride of their region, and instead destroy it through pollution, mismanagement, and exploitation. But all is not lost, this can be countered, by those willing and able to become the type of parents that continue positive traditions and pass them down to their children. Liberal individuals can complain about loss of identity and distinctiveness all they want, but it is meaningless unless they are willing to accept tradition and the role it plays in perpetuating a culture. I think Commerce and Tradition can probably co exist and balance each other. Being too rigid in tradition suffocates a peoples ability to survive in a constantly evolving world, and Being too commercial makes one nothing but a shallow tool. Being both makes us distinctive and our distinctiveness may help give us a competitive edge in certain global markets.

the siddiqui way

just some more thinking out loud. I’d drafted some rules for success in theworld of small business. After thinking about it somemore, I’m narrowing the focus to the world of professional service firms. I’m also making them more personal, they are rules that I’m now setting for myself. I say "setting" because i can see my deficiencies and know the following things have to be sustained for continued success, inshallah. here’s a revised version with explanations: Working for a living requires interaction with others. To have lasting relationships with others. I need to... 1-Be Selfless: Consider the needs of others. Seek the welfare of my family, friends, neighborhood, clients, industry, and environment; in that order. Be there to help be a part of the solution when i'm called on. The service I provide and the way I provide it should not cause harm. I believe being good opens doors; or at least it may clear my sight enough to see the doors that I need to open... 2-Be Trustworthy: Hire people I can Trust. Often in the world of professional firms, the client will hire the services of my firm because of me. There are many small firms that offer similar services but the client may hire mine because of who I am. The client is placing a trust in me, not just my company. The work done by my employees has a direct impact on my reputation. A small firm has a more personal working environment, where the technicians and staff are often directly visible to the executives. There can be no shifting of blame by the executives. In a small business there is no excuse for bad work. The executives are directly to blame for the failure to meet requirements. So, if I am an executive or a manager, I need to be able to trust the staff; that they are in fact doing what is required of them when I am not looking. They need to trust me; that I am not using them for my own gain without any consideration for their needs. The employer/employee relationship requires trust. Trustworthiness is the most important characteristic to look for when hiring. Not family, Not religion. Just because people have the same blood or pray to the same God, does not mean they are trustworthy. But often, the people I can trust most are family and friends. That doesn’t mean they make the ideal employee. Showing favoritism to some employees over others undermines the trust they place in me... Working for a living requires doing work. To compete in the world of professional service firms. I need to... 3-Be Motivated: Want to do it. Have the drive required to provide the service and run the business; the drive to accomplish the task. Be the first one in and last one out. Being motivated is not like being selfless and trustworthy. Being motivated is not related to my actions towards others. Being motivated is a state of mind. It comes and goes. When I have it I will succeed... 4-Be Professional: Do it right. The work I am being contracted to do needs to be done according to the standards set by the industry. The client is expecting professional work when a professional is hired. The way I deal with my employees should be professional. They are expecting to be compensated for the work they do, on time, and with the benefits that are common to the industry. Being professional is about the actual work, and the actual running of the business, not people. Being professional is not like being selfless or trustworthy. Being professional is not like being motivated. In fact, it requires motivation. Being professional is based on the knowledge and skills that I acquire through a class, a teacher, a mentor, or a book... Working for a living requires a paper trail. To have a trouble free relationship with clients. I need to... 5-Get every thing in writing... 6-Follow up on invoices... Just because I am trustworthy does not mean my clients are. These two rules deal with specificactions that must be done before and after the work is done. For these actions to be successful I need assistance from other professionals. People who study law and accounting need to be tapped. These two rules also require systems and structures to be set up in the company to ensure that they are done. Having some management skills helps... Working for a living can become a drag. To have happiness and relieve the stress of running abusiness. I need to... 7-Enjoy the Profits... Spread the wealth. Give the employee who deserves it a bonus. There are things I and my employees want to do besides work, things that bring joy to life, to family, to friends, to community. Do them before death. That's the lesson I learned from my father. I will call these rules: "THE SIDDIQUI WAY"

never hire a muslim?!?

last weekend, during dinner at the Longhorn Muslim Reunion, as we divided into career groups, i was asked what i have to say about being a business man. As one of dude's i was talking to lives in Middle-Of-Nowhere, America. He feels that Muslims should help each other more. I replied by saying: "rule No.1 of running a business:Don't hire Muslims!! it makes trying to get anything done on friday's impossible!" He looked upset... confused... How can someone he knew to be an awesome leader of the best Muslim Students Association in any american university say something like this!?! (yes, I said AWESOME!)... A former roommate of mine added something about family. I then corrected myself: "OH! Yes! I'm such a fool, FAMILY... Nevermind what i said before, Scratch it! New Rule No.1... Don't hire Family!! Rule No.2... Don't hire Muslims!" The confused dude looked even more shocked by the turn this conversation was taking... I said I was absolutely serious. To do business with family or muslims differently just because they are that, only means you are relaxing your professional standards and will later get kicked in the ass. If it goes bad you will be the one considered bad family or greedy muslim. never compromise your professional standards!... They asked me when the book was coming out? Hey, first I'd have to make up some more rules. no one would pay me good money for a two line book!! and so... i went on to elaborate on the rules for success in the stressfull world of small business. imagine the cover: a big 2 with a slash through it and a small 5 written next to it by hand also slashed out with a smaller 7 written next to that... "RULES FOR SUCCESS IN SMALL BUSINESS" by Asad I. Siddiqui... The Accidental Business Man! Now... I present to you a rough outline of my rules: - Rule No.1: There is no Fight Club no really... Rule No.1: Be a Good Human Being... - Rule No.2: Be Professional in what you Do... - Rule No.3: Say No to Family and Friendship ties... - Rule No.4: Say No to Religious ties... - Rule No.5: Get Everything in Writing... - Rule No.6: Follow up on Invoices... - Rule No.7: Enjoy the Profits... (when in doubt, refer to rule 1 and 2) No MBA required!!... they are completely obvious rules, completely common sence, but so easy to fall into temptation and ignore... i know them because i see the consequences of violating them every single day! peace and love.

MSA Reunion Halaqa

First the bigger picture:
What is the MSA? Where does it come from? What does it do?

In the late 1800’s Jamaluddin al-Afghani started going around the Ottoman Empire spreading around ideas that Muslims need to go beyond sectarian, ethnic, cultural, and geographic differences. They need to realize that they are all Muslims. That they are all one people. He was given support by the Ottoman caliph, who could use this as a means to motivate people to defend his empire against the threat of european expansion. After all, he was the caliph of all Muslims, which means all Muslims should help defend his empire. Muslim Unity was good. It was for a reason.

Anyways, After the empire ended, and the khilafat faded away. The muslims in various independent regions began movements to bring Islam back into some sort of political power. There was no need for teaching the basics of Islam to the members of the movements, there were madrasas and mullahs and qaris for that. So what the movements focused on was molding a perspective of a political and social role of Islam among its recruits. These movements, the Ikhwan al Muslimun in the Mid-East, the Jamat e Islami in South Asia, reinterpreted Afghani’s Pan-Islam into an Islamic nationalism. The goal was to replace the colonial order with a new order.

By the late 60’s members of these movements were making their way to the New World. Many hoped to go back and continue the struggle, In the mean time while in college they would pursue higher education and seeing a vacuum they created Muslim organizations to serve their needs. The goal was to keep from assimilating while here. MSA was born.

But this is only the history of a few who founded the formal organizations, what happened next was unexpected. Members of the movements were not the only Muslims in America. I think there are four distict streams of Muslims in America. One is the movement stream with al-Afghani as the key common figure. Another is based on Black Nationalism. The black race in America has faced many challenges and one of them is to gain Power, power lost through slavery and years of dehumanization and discrimination. Figures like Noble Drew Ali, Elijah Muhammad, and Malcolm X linked this stream to Islam. The third stream is made up of Converts who went overseas to learn the traditional sciences of Islam. The fourth is people like my parents, part of the global shifting of populations, the immigrant experience.

With the easing of immigration laws after the civil rights reforms passed, Muslims looking for opportunities to make a living and support their families back home made their way here. They cared little for the political and social agendas of the Islamic movements, but they did want to be able to practice their religion. They were coming here to stay. They joined the MSAs. To be able to Pray Jummah, establish mosques, teach the basics to their kids. Survival was their goal. It was a small community and they all worked together and tolerated each other’s opposing perspectives on Islam.

That was then…
We are their children, Our time has its own challenges, Its own needs.
What is the MSA to us?

Is it about fullfilling a religious need?
-The need to worship?
-The need to learn about Islam?
-The need to believe in something?
--The need for meaning.

Or, is it about fulfilling a human need?
-The need to find a home?
-The need to eat?
-The need to socialize?
--The need to belong.

Or, is it about fulfilling an educational need?
-The need to find the best teacher?
-The need to find a study group?
-The need to pass a test?
--The need to learn.

Or, is it about fulfilling a political need?
-The need to raise awareness of an issue?
-The need to know our rights?
-The need to unite?
-The need to organize?
--The need for justice.
----The need for power.

Maybe its NOT about fulfilling a need…
-There’s a mosque if you need a place to pray.
-There’s your friends to satisfy the need to belong.
-There’s College Advisors to help you find learning aids.
-There’s a multitude of movements out there seeking power.

Maybe its about fulfilling WANTs…
-We want things to be easy.
-We want to be with those we feel most comfortable with.
-We want to feel like we are doing something meaningful.
-We want to think we are pleasing God.

So, what IS the MSA?
Throughout its history, since 1967, it’s been all of the above.
Sometimes satisfying one need, sometimes satisfying another,
…almost always satisfying a desire.

I think an MSA of our size and ability can easily lose focus, so i will list the 3 basic types of things that a group of Muslims at UT can create for themselves:

1-A means of building character in UT students…
-this does not need an organization only a small group people helping each other.

2-An outlet for issue based activism by UT students…
-needs some organization and lots of volunteers committed to that issue or cause.

3-An institution that provides services for UT students…
-needs lots of organization and access to professional resources + continuity.

To do one is easy and success is measurable, but to do all three requires hard work, a solid organization and lots of support.

That’s what we Alumni are for. Use us.

In the 60s, there was a need for us to get organized. Why?
-To give us something to belong to, and overcome feelings of isolation.
-and To assist that small group of isolated Muslims in the practice of Islam.

In the 70s and 80s, there was the need for us to build our institutions. Why?
-In order to accommodate a growing community, and its children.
-and To provide resources for those interested in knowing about Islam.

In the early 90s, there was again a need for us to organize. Why?
-It was time to make MSA relevant to a Muslim American generation.
-With the community needs taken care of by the mosque, MSA began to look outward, to others with needs. Hello Dawa Table!
-To voice support for Palestine. for Bosnia. Against Oppression. MSA’s rawest purist activism for the highest cause…Justice! MSA members joined Student Gov, Texas Union, The Daily Texan. All to support the activism, and to show that we belong in these campus institutions because we are just as much a part of the campus as any other group.

We’ve heard the names: Ayloush, Riz, Monem, Asaduddin, Almouti, Hajjar…
We've heard the legends…
-Riz getting busted for praying at old UGLy here,
-Palestinan Flags at Hillal Rallies on the west mall,
-Monem trying to distribute condoms at the dorms…WHAT???

I had a chance to participate in the tail end of that period of our MSA’s history.
-And then a challenging new era began…
--The challenge of living up to expectations!
--The challenge of continuing traditions!
--The challenge of growth!
--The challenge of finding a meaning!

It starts with a vision…camp!!

"Dear Imam Siraj,
Please find along with this letter the vision statement itself. What I would like to do here is try to give you a background on what led us to this point. Working with MYNA, MSA, local masaajid, and other various Muslim organizations, a few of us kept noticing that each had very similar problems. After looking at their histories, we found that none had a formalized vision and goal(s). This being the case, they acted more on a reactive basis, rather than proactive one.

What this vision statement attempts to do is lay out a vision for Muslims in America. Although an ambitious task, we strongly feel that if left malleable, it can serve the needs of our North American Community. The "group" I am referring to is very loose in nature. Most have either graduated from college or are very close to being so. Each is active enough to have a taste of how Muslim organizations operate.

I hope this letter and the accompanying vision statement are clear and I look forward to speaking with you at ISNA (either Friday or Saturday after Fajr).

--the vision statement and introduction:
Every traveler must have a destination in mind or the passage of time will reveal a life without achievement, the loss of opportunity, and the agony of failure. Muslims are now poised to establish a historic movement in America that could change the world. We have the human power, the economic resources, the knowledge, and the guidance of Islam. But do we have that destination in mind?

Our vision is to endlessly promote a society of thinking muslims proactive to the needs of the North American community.

Muslims must tear down the rigid walls of close-minded ignorance and open themselves to a world of creative, and fresh ideas. We must embrace the blessings and benefits of all the approaches within Islam past and present, as they reflect the many shades and complementary colors that make our deen whole. Muslims should analyze, not blindly assimilate, as we actively reach out to the Muslim community to serve its needs. As these needs are met, the North American Muslim Ummah must excel all others to lead America towards the benefits gained from the wisdom and balance of Islam."

After much discussion our group finally came to an agreement on what we are going to ask our leaders and scholars.
1.We agreed that we should begin by explaining how we were formed thus: "A group of people from all over Texas noticed that there is a problem with organizations in North American and saw that all these problems came down to the fact that they (the organization and groups) did not have a comprehensive vision for North America. What we have done after toiling for a year is come up with a vision"
2.The vision statement and the introduction written by Adil would then be told to the person
3.Then we would ask them "What do you think about the vision and do you feel it falls within the bounds of Islam?" This is basically giving them the answer. If they response by saying they think it is haram, then we would ask them why and end the conversation. But if they don't think there is anything wrong then move onto the next question.
4."Our methodology for implementing this vision is through a list of priorities. Do you agree with having priorities and what do you feel are the most important for Muslims in America?"
5.And the last question would be "What are your feeling about a new movement in North America?" - this is a controversial question

Why are we approaching them?
1.To legitimize ourselves and to let people know that we exist and this is what we are thinking
2.The conversation should be tape recorded if possible
3.Basically what we want for them is elaboration and their input and view point

I think we were idealistic and ambitious, just like we should have been at that age. And although we never formed any new organizations, we carried that vision with us as individuals. I still do.
This vision was incorporated into a new charter for UT’s MSA.

Well, I left UT at the beginning of this new millennium, coming home at the end of 2000.
-I had participated, then I had began to organize, and eventually I had led…
--and Throughout …I grew!

I gained wisdom.
-Wisdom: its more than knowledge.
--There’s awareness of a thing
---Then knowledge of that thing
----Then doing that thing
-----Then finally a Wisdom based on experience.

I became aware about myself…
-My abilities, My limitations, My emotions

I became aware of my friends…
-The nature of friendship, family, brotherhood…LOVE!

I became aware of my surroundings…
-My teachers, fellow students, the great city of Austin.

I don’t know how much was the result of the MSA and how much was because of the way I am, but I do know that the MSA was very much a part of who I am.

For me MSA wasn’t about Dawa, or Power, or Knowledge, or Friends.
-It was about finding a means to BE ASAD!
-For many, the MSA is a means of satisfying Identity issues.

I had major issues going on in my life at the time I was in UT,
-I had transition problems from transferring into the Architecture school and I couldn’t be the architecture student I wanted to be. ...My professional identity.

-I had an ill father slowly dying of diabetes dealing with the stress of running a business at Home and I couldn’t be the son I wanted to be. ...My Siddiqui identity

-But in the MSA, I found a place where I could be the Muslim I wanted to be, that believer in God that does things for others, with others.

That’s what MSA became for me in the end:
-Not to struggle to establish an Islamic order;
-Not for dawa to gain new converts;
-Not a religious institution for the Muslims of Austin;
Simply a club on campus that provides opportunities for UT’s Muslims to practice Akhlaq together. and in the process develop a stronger relationship with Allah.

love

what is love? for some its simply an emotion that drives one towards a loving action like a kiss or a hug or a tear. the root of the compassion that feeds merciful acts. for others its a mystical abstract notion that gives order to the universe, the answer to the question "why?" the reason for being. is it this or that? a real emotion or abstract concept?

can't it be both?...a Rabia al-Basri poem: "I know about love the way the fields know about light, the way the forest shelters, the way an animal's divine raw desire seeks to unite with whatever might please its soul - without a single strange thought of remorse. There is a powerful delegation in us that lobbies every moment for contentment. How will you ever find peace unless you yield to love the way the gracious earth does to our hand's impulse."

...a poem by Hafiz: Because the Woman I love lives inside of you, I lean as close to your body with my words as I can -and I think of you all the time, dear pilgrim. Because the One I love goes with you wherever you go, Hafiz will always be near. If you sat before me, wayfarer, with your aura bright from your many charms, my lips could resist rushing you, but my eyes, my eyes can no longer hide the wonderous fact of who you really are. The Beautiful One whom I adore has pitched His royal tent inside of you, so I will always lean my heart as close to your soul as I can."

what the hell is fiqh of love ?

this morning I was thinking of something I’d heard my friend Riz say during dinner on Friday night at the UT reunion, "the fiqh oflove." In all of my readings about love theory, I had NOT come across this phrase before!! It made no sense to me. there is love, and there is fiqh. they are two different things. what the hell is "fiqh of love?" so I googled it... I've learned that fiqh is the science of figuring out the shariah. Books I read say that the shariah is for the protection of various aspects of human life: deen-life-intellect-lineage-honor-property being the traditional areas. And according to scholars of fiqh, in the life of a human, ACTIONS can be required-recommended-neutral-disliked-forbidden. Now... Love is either a feeling that is experienced in the brain, or an abstract principle created to make sense of life. It may be a motivator for an action. A very basic action may be Love motivating me to kiss a baby, or to say "I love you". I think Love happens in the realm of intention... so, maybe... I guess it’s kind of relevent to fiqh. we COULD possibly place it in the various aspects of life that the shariah protects: deen-life-intellect-lineage-honor-property-LOVE... But if we place love in this list, we are lowering Love's status. Love is like Justice or Mercy. It’s a higher principle designed to give meaning to mundane life. Not a category of mundane... Anyways, my point is that i can understand "the Fiqh of Marriage", or "the Fiqh of Ibadat" because marriage and ibadat can be said to deal with lineage, honor, or deen. but "Fiqh of LOVE"??? It makes no sense to me. Maybe I’m too dumb to understand? (don’t answer that!)... First you have to define what love is, and that is the realm of philosophy, psychology, or mysticism (Akhlaq not Fiqh)... so what is this "fiqh of love"? where is this phrase coming from?... Apparently there's a class being offered around the country where attendees learn about love and "marriage in islam." (according to the wahhabi sect). it’s a big hit among the young, sincere, naive, gullible recruits. If this class (or any other offered by the Al-Maghrib Institute directed by Muhammad Alshareef) is conducted in any city, the institute creates a qabila, oh sorry..."qabeelah" or tribe for the students to join, allowing them to compete with other cities in terms of test results (interesting idea) and do extracurricular "tribal activities," including dawah (recruiting more people to wahhabi thought). I once organized a lecture at UT called "The Lover and The Beloved" but it was about sufism (because sufi poets use such language to describe their relationship with the Divine), and while the speaker had no accent, he did have a harsh tone and ended up not speaking about love as much as I had wanted him to. I also remember when we had a Friday Cookie Halaqa on the topic of love given by some wahhabi preacher from Dallas. The dude was kind of repulsive. He also had a harsh tone and thick accent too. And he focused on marriage. These and other things motivated me to speak on the topic, the real topic "love". Unlike the other speakers we had that year, I focused on "what is Love?"... I wish more people spoke of just love... Anyways, My confusion about this damn "fiqh of love" was cleared up when I went to the Al-Maghrib website. It's simply a marketing ploy for a class about the allowable and the prohibited regarding marriage and the wahhabi approach to its fiqh. But this time its not like that harsh accented preacher from Dallas, the tone seems to be much softer. But it appears it’s too soft for some recruits (not wahhabi enough for them)! peace and love.

a mention of satan

I'd read that the mystic Hallaj had written a defence of satan. but I'm still searching for an english version of it. Till them I am searching through the works of some of the other Mystics. The Sufi Poet Farid'uddin 'Attar has a few mentions of Iblis in his masterpiece "The Conference of the Birds" I've reworked Peter Avery's translation: Enjoy! ...Moses was instructed in secret to go and ask Iblis for some advice. Iblis said, “Always bear this one maxim in mind: Do not say ‘I’ lest you become like me.” Go Ahead! Take this life to be your own, What you will have is not service, but atheism, the denial of Truth! Run this course knowing no gratification. Be like those courageous ones, who gain honor through a bad reputation. If you get gratification in this road, A hundred “I’s” would take you! Snap! Just like that!...

a side note about Darkness and Sight... The Mu’min said: “It is better for that newbie that he should be in darkness,‘Til he is completely obliterated in the Ocean of Kindness, Putting an end to a consciousness of existence, Because, if anything presents itself to his untrained sight, He might become distracted, and turn towards unbelief.” It’s in you, You Know It! that desire to acquire more and more, that inclination to argue and fight, The eyes of others see, not the eyes of you. It’s in you, You’ve Felt It! It’s like an ash-pit full of dragons. You in heedlessness have let them loose, Oh the trouble of looking after them day and night! Finding food for them to eat. Places for them to sleep. You’ve become nothing but dust and blood, And that which was once considered good and pure, Now… forbidden!, taboo! your Blood, your closest buddy, it’s making you filthy, it’s becoming your partner in crime! Whatever it is in that heart of yours, that thing is preventing you from knowing Oneness! and if its doing that, without doubt, its forbidden! If you’ve become aware of the pollution within, How can you just sit there like that? Not giving a damn!... a side note to the side note: On the chest of a Shaikh an unclean dog was wont to lie. The Shaikh made no attempt to avoid it. An inquirer said: “O great one of the righteous conduct, How comes it then that you have not spurned this dog?” Listen to the Shaikh’s reply: “You see this dog’s outside, its unclean. But that which is inside me, is not visible. What you can see clearly in one, Is concealed within the other. Since my inside is like the dog’s outside, How should I evade him?That dog has become my friend.” So… if the inner corruption is only a little, A hundred times more defiled are you. Because this little is all the same; If the slightest distraction blocks your progress on the Path, What is the difference if it’s a mountain or just a straw that holds you back?... **the primary source for Satan info for most of the muslim mystic philosophers is of course the Quran. but not a literal interpretation. I see their unique notion of Iblis as an attempt to reconcile the creation story with other places in the Quran where the concept of shaytan is mentioned in relation to human nature.

enough talk

It happened again today.
I was told to “do it.”
...“Enough talk Asad, just do it.”
...Do what?

... - Over the last few years, I’ve been sharing the ideas I have about youth work.
With ex-members of our old youth organization;
officers of the local youth group;
leaders of our masjid.

... - Well it was bound to happen.
One of those people basically said “well, do it already.”
It was my old Islamic School teacher, a former advisor of our old youth group.
I decided to stop by at a Muslim Teachers Conference she was helping organize.

... - I told her:
there are ideas to create a youth group at our masjid again.
old members of our group at another mosque are dong the same thing.
Its probably time to create some sort of regional structure.

... - Yeah Yeah, We tried it back in the mid 90s.
it probably wasn’t the right time,
maybe this time it’ll happen.

... - Maybe we can:
bring these old members together to create a board of advisors.
take requests for larger youth activities for the region and then select the best youth from among all the groups to organize it.

... - Good idea she said, just like another good idea you had a couple of years ago Asad.
So whats the hold up, will this also go undone like the last one.
By the way, we need to do a camp. Not organized by any masjid or any one youth group.
Organized by us, and this region idea you have is a good way to organize it.

... - Hey! just like back in the old days, when the East Zone of the Muslim Youth of North America used a camp to kick off our South Eastern regional structure, to bring together the various youth groups in Florida! We can do the same thing but for South Florida.

... - Sounds Good! But, don’t disappoint me this time!
You’ve become all talk Asad. Lets do this soon.
You’re worrying me Asad.

... - Yes Sister Naima.
Thank you Sister Naima.
I got to go now Sister Naima.
Salam Sister Naima.

the power of the image

to what extent does television and radio programming reflect the culture and to what extent does it create the culture? By culture I mean a people’s social practices and values and lifestyle. In many ways the culture and the media start feeding on each other.

...A recent Newsweek article on BET used the term “influential tastemakers.” There are definitely creative minds that drive trends in a culture. This is undeniable. On the other hand, a recent Time article mentioned that programming like NBC’s Friends, reflected the cultural phenomenon of a new stage of modern life in between being grown-up and adolescence.

...An image has power. A moving image accompanied by sounds has even more power. The power to inspire imitation. The power to create a desire. The image can be created or captured by an artist for artistic social purposes and it can also be made by Advertisers who use it for corporate porposes.

instead of complaining

let me put my reaction in context. i cry when i think of the death and distruction the tsunami caused. my dua and charity will continue to be directed there for some time to come. i don't think i have to remind the people who know me of my activist history when i voice my opinions damn it... i don't complain about media. i don't think the media is as important as others think it is (i should say news media to be more specific). and i should say that i DO give local CAIR reps constructive suggestions when they make mistakes, and supportive compliments when they do good, i'm no rookie when it comes to adab... now... in reaction to my post, i was told: "do a similar event YOURSELF that's better! stop pointing fingers!" i care for my community and i HAVE done better events that got great media coverage. i like to think that i've earned the right to point ANY finger at ANY org... another thing i heard: "become part of the solution!? join em, work with them from the outside, whatever! but stop this ranting every time someone makes a mistake! its NOT helping!" This is the comment that i'm most tired of hearing! i spent several years working with MSA or volunteering with or helping local CAIR reps organize things for many many years. i spent the last few years trying to work with ISNA. and since 1996, i've organized or supported events for Islamic Relief. so tommorow, if i decide i want to rant about them, i will. AND... no one should call me to JOIN jamat-tabligh, jamat-islami, ikhwan, or some other group that i'm fundamentally opposed to. i don't care if it helps or not, i WILL rant about the reasons why i oppose them (if i have to). we should discuss mistakes that are made by muslims. we should share and discuss our unorthodox ideas. all i do is voice my frustrations (rants) once in a while. OK... i'm going to go chill out now :) peace and love.

why i CAIR not (part 2) media and stereotypes

one reaction to my post said: "I would like to believe that no organization or person would take advantage of such a disaster. Yes, CAIR *could* have done the salat al ghayb at a later time and possibly have the media come then." not could, SHOULD! i call a mistake what it is. not deny it and not defend it. i don't think i have to elaborate about all the reasons why i say it SHOULD have been done during a jumah prayer. its so obvious it boggles my mind why it would not have been done at that time. by the way, even though CAIR sent press releases about jumah, no media showed up. most likely because they felt they had already covered the story. indeed it IS a mistake to create media events when real events can be promoted for the same purpose... i was also told that "with all of the negative stereo-types and views of Muslims in America as heartless people, it probably made most sense to do it at a time when more viewers would be watching."... education is the way to dispell stereo-types, not TV news... about stereo-types: they come from generalizations made about a group of people based upon the actions one witnesses in a few. i guess the best way to counter it is to get people to see us as individuals, know a little about Islam (its basic history, its basic teachings), then let them make up their own minds. the real forum for this endevour is not media but education, and muslims really BEING good. sound-bites and quick images often easily get lost in all the noise. the understanding i want people to have is that: - there are individuals who call themselves muslim that do "this"; - there are individuals who call themselves muslim that do "that"; - and there are individuals call themselves muslim that do "other"... Islam may be the inspiration for all of them, but it is so much greater!... so we shouldn't make generalizations about Islam, about ourselves... we shouldn't fall into the trap of the society of the spectacle. believing the world of propaganda and the image machine to be reality.

why i CAIR not (part 1) real action

let me clarify, he who contacted me WAS honest with me. i was told that a tv news crew was coming. i try to give people the benefit of doubt. i just think that media events are not what we need to be doing. the false impression i got was all me. the organizers have nothing to do with me expecting MORE out of my leaders, and organizations that claim to speak for me. yes, local chapters are sort of independant, but some how, through CAIR, a local who used to be a social worker is now little more than a PR guy. i know him, he is very sincere, and i participate when he asks me. and hey, it would be great for americans to think islam and muslims are good. but, i want real good deeds to be the cause. the media should tell people about these good deeds, news of it will allow others to help the deed have a bigger impact. if in the process they change their mind about muslims, great!... think Habitat For Humanity, or the ACLU, that's real action. thats all i desire, real action, not media events. CAIR national encourages a mentality of media events, activism for the camera. i don't mean to imply that the particular media event was designed for CAIR's self promotion. but, i also don't deny that many activists in CAIR, just like ISNA and others, tend organize more events that are to sustain themselves then anything else. i hate this. the orgs with the means to get things done are the ones who DO the least, and TALK the most (as if conferences and press events are real action)! peace.