impulsive actions

i deleted some things i posted on orkut about my engagement. i felt that what i had said had been read and now i didn't want a written record of it. so i just deleted them. i wanted my words to live on only as a legend told by others. for them to spark "the legendary love of asad and mahreen"!!! i didn't think of the negative consequences of the delete, some people were really upset by the delete, they started to think something was wrong ...i didn't realize that people had taken possession of my words. its like i went in and stole something. it even caused confusion for mahreen... our relationship is still quite fresh... i don't want my mis-steps to cause doubts... doubts must give way to understanding... so i explain why i did what i did. i like the excitement of impulsive actions and its aftershocks. it's hard for me to be troublemaker in the real world... too much of a acha bacha... so i cut myself loose for brief moments that i go into the virtual! i want to start a love riot among our relatives. i think i want too much... wait... a love riot???!!?!?? hmmm...

absence is to love...

impromptu poetry whispered to a beloved gets the job done then vanishes into the realm of imagination! sometimes its good that those words are not recorded... they inspire feelings and thoughts in the heart of the beloved. but those thoughts are raw... they need to be cooked... separation provides the fire! i will leave it to your imagination to remember what i said...

but this reminds me of a quote i read on a soldiers blog. the soldier goes by the name 'thunder 6' and his blog is called '365 and a wake up'. its a great blog, very powerful. here's the quote: "absense is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguished the small, and inflames the great."

...how true... i want to be the type who can inspire a love so great that absence cannot extinquish it. right now i have a problem of communication. i don't know if my words are powerful enough to sustain a love through physical absence. and it becomes a bigger problem when the words themselves become absent.