family

what is a family?
what is the responsibility of one member to another?
what if you do not carry out your responsibility?
who does that responsibility then go to?
if it falls upon me,
then how far should I go...
to act upon that unfulfilled responsibility of another?
what are the consequeses of my actions?
should i care about the consequeces?...

if it is now MY responsibility,
then i should go as far as i think I have to!
damn the consequences!!

i'm here in pakistan. i came to attend my sister-in-law's wedding in islamabad. it was supposed to be a relaxing getaway. a chance for my wife to see her family again. she had married me 8 months ago, and moved to america about a week after our wedding. we came to pakistan on the first flight we could get right after her immigration interview. her sister's wedding events were set to take place a couple days after we arrived. she was very eagerly awaiting this trip for the last few months...

the first day went fine. so did the second.
on the third day everything changed.
we recieved word in the morning that my aunt in karachi had passed away...

i went to karachi and spent the couple days before the wedding with my family. my brother and my aunt's sister had taken the first flight they could get from miami. my sister was already in karachi for the past week buying things for her own wedding next year...

about a month or so ago, my father's elder brother here in karachi, had suffered a stroke. my sister had already gone to visit him a couple days before and she said that things were not good. after my brother arrived we went together, the three of us...

my joy had turned to sorrow...
and after the initial shock and confusion,
the more aware i become of what is going on here,
...i feel anger.

tonight i spoke my mind to my family.
after i speak i always think about what i could have said that i did not.
and what i did say that i should not have.
it could have gone differently...
NO! it went how it went!
i think about the consequences...
NO! damn the the consequences!

my joy had turned to sorrow... and after the initial shock and confusion, the more aware i became of what is going on here, i feel anger.