to submit

so, it seems the stars have determined my personality and character traits
they say I seek balance, I seek harmony, I try to see both sides: ie. indecisive
...that sure sounds like me.

...they say that me and that lioness will fit like missing pieces of a puzzle!
each complimenting the other,
making the picture complete!
...nice.
...got lucky I guess.
…what if they had said otherwise?

now... why do I find it hard to have faith in the stars?
or any other type of determinism…
maybe they are God’s way of giving clues to how everything works.
to be used in conjunction with prophetic sayings and holy revelations.
He seems to have made things easy to figure out.
...if I use the right key!

I must find the Key Master!

ahh... determinism.
my genetic code has determined my natural abilities and weaknesses
my looks, my habits,
...my potential diabetes damn it!
...and I know my upbringing and peers have determined my values

...oh, and lets not forget...
- it is said that God has determined who I will marry and how and when I die
and the ground in which I will be buried will drag my body to it:
"mitti khech ke..."

- Darn!...
it seems that anything I will try to do to affect these,
will only screw the programming up,
or fall in line with that which is meant to be anyways.

...If I let go of my ego
and these foolish delusions of freedom
it seems I can live a stress free life.
- All I have to do is submit...

take the punches to the gut...
take it like a man...
smile, just lie down and wait to die.

- ahhh... to submit...

to become a slave to determinism.

- So...
why can’t I do it...
why can’t I relinquish this useless need to control?
why am I so skeptical...
is that also part of my programming?
determined by the genetic code for my brain?
or thoughts springing from a consciousness planted by the Divine?
or is that a glitch in this system?
a weakness susceptible to exploitation by that cursed shaitan!
Stop that evil whispering!
you damned dirty bastich!!!
...and let me submit!!