courage and action

today i added some more items i wrote during my fight to save my badai abbu. they date from 9-6 to 9-9 of 2006. Here's a follow up on what happened.

He died a few days after i set up the nurse.

After hiring a nurse and making sure that the family allowed him to attend to my uncle, i was informed by the nurse that a doctor should come and do some testing. the results were not good. it was basically too late and his deterioration was too far along, and there were signs of potential organ failure. nothing much could be done other then to comfort him and care for him, which the nurse did.

I got a call from my cousin informing me of his death a couple days after I had returned to Islamabad. I flew back to karachi as soon as I could and was able to attend his funeral prayer, carry his casket to the grave, and bury him myself.

Was it worth it?

the family relations will never be the same.
i will meet them when i go back in a few weeks. it will be awkward for me. i can't smile and pretend that it never happened. but i will drop by to say salam and see how everything is going. they are also my relatives. and if my actions for my uncle were based upon some sort of duty towards family, i'm sure that some sort of duty towards my aunt and cousins is still in effect. but i have'nt thought about what that duty is.

its when family fails to take care one of its own that any outside body should interfere. I now understand a real reason how a family can fall apart. will i be that member of my family that fails to take care of his own because of how they reacted to my actions? or will they fail to come to my aid in times of trouble because of my actions towards them?

I don't know.
I pray i'm able to rise above.
I pray i'm able to live up to the ideals i set for myself.
InshaAllah I will.

so was it worth it? of course it was. the future will present its own challenges. our action in the present is what defines us. simply taking action defines us as courageous people. and if those actions are based upon right principles and solid morals then we can define ourselves as principled and moral people. it would be a shame to look back at those times when we failed to act and realise that we were nothing but cowards. i'm glad I have a brother who helped me rise to the challenge and overcome my fear of action in that trying time. In the end, its the immediate family that one must count on, and I thank Allah for a brother like Fawad.