a lack of comunication

sitting on the phone for a half hour to engage in a meaningfull conversation is great. but its difficult for me to do it often.... maybe for a relationship to develop there needs to be constant chit chat. lots of back and forth calling. or e-mailing. i guess it helps create an emotional bond between two people. flirting helps too. i don't know how to do it.... the problem is i don't talk much on the phone or e-mail. its just how i am. and when, in each conversation or e-mail i see an apprehensiveness to marriage, it makes be believe that i have a hard task ahead of me. my busy schedule of work and school makes time go by very fast. before i know it its friday. this last month was very busy. i have been out of town on three weekends... so it becomes very hard for me to spend time chit chating.... i have no problems with getting married. sure, i figured i would have to find out about my future bride before marriage. and she would have to find out more about me. but i didn't expect to have to counter pessimism. i've tried, but i doubt my abilities. but i am getting to know her.... i try to be optimistic. i try to envision success. but its very hard. i start losing interest if i see the most important ingredient, her optimism, is outside of my control. i start thinking that maybe i should back off, to give her more time. i think for a succesful relationship. both must start out optimistic about the outcome. we all know about the importance of the first impression. the first impression i got from our very first conversation about marriage was that she was pessimistic about marriage in general and each subsequent conversation only reinforced this. not a good sign..... i must admit that in the beginning i was ready. but her doubts are making me hessitate. this is one area in my life that i did not want hesitation. its a bad sign for me. i need reassurance from her that she wants marriage. that she thinks a marriage can be successful. i know we have to find out about each other. but its not good sign if the first thing she tells me is that marriage to a surgeon ends in failure. i have seen successful marriages to surgeons. i know its difficult, and i am open minded. but, she sees failure. so, until i am reassured about this critical item.... maybe this is the cause of my lack of communication. maybe it led to my pace slowing down even more than usual. i started waiting for her to contact me. i want her to want to do this. anyways, i do want to know more about her... her life; her likes and dislikes; what she lives for; what makes her happy; what makes her sad; what types of friends she has; her biggest accomplishments; her biggest dissapointments; we can spread this out over a series of phone calls and e-mails, deal with one at a time or all at once. what ever she wants.... anyways, we must find out about each other. but, i don't know if finding out about each other will help solve the big problem i'm facing. the problem is that she is basically going to be looking for something about me to like and then force herself to get into a marriage that she don't want. i will see many things about her that help me understand her, but will remain unsure if she wants to get married. i was the same a few years ago. i was unsure about marriage. i didn't know if i wanted it. but now i want it. i want to find the right woman. that right woman must also want it. then she must want me. maybe she is that person. it would be great if she is.