thoughts of a synthetic muzlem

mairaj is one of my most thought provoking friends... in a discussion about organizing a women in islam conference he said: "my question to the social activists is this: how are going to go change the world, when you have very little of an idea of what you want to change the world into, other than a knee-jerk idiosynchratic intuition?" ...hmmm... i embrace my knee-jerk idiosyncratic intuition, its what makes me an american-muslim. i am not a simple follower who's got all the motions memorized, fearing and rejecting any deviatiation. i am not a scientist who works purely from reason and logic. Rumi awakened me to a healthy distrust of the intellect alone. my intuition is what makes me ME.... i am an indo-pak american-muslim i AM synthesis. everything i do will be systhesis. and to make sense of my world, i've quite conciously generated a classification of my society for myself. and i do try to accept knowledge from the various classifications which may contribute to a better understanding of the world i live in. but i have become more critical of the particular things i gain knowledge of, and i do understand that the knowledge i get is limited by the classificational(is that a word?) restraints of the particular source... mairaj said that "in order to synthesize the different strands of your experience into something that doesn't compromise or dilute the product, the inputs have got to be of nearly the same quality." he definately has a point, i will try to keep my synthesizational exercizes limited to within the classifications, of course realizing that my classifications could be flawed to begin with. a good systhesis is like the micheal brook and nusrat fateh ali khan album (its hard for me to stay abstract for too long), where two types came together flawlessly to create a beautiful new type. it can be argued that the purity of a unique original should not be tampered with because it is already beautiful, but we are dealing with human invention where nothing is pure and all is sythesis anyways, you just have to know enough history to prove it and gain enough knowledge to do it right.... mairaj said "At times we've got to let go of our past, regardless of the sentimental attachment we have to it, as this is what is in the best interests of our people and our religion." ...he's got a point, but who knows, maybe its destined by the stars for me to be unable to let go, i am a libra. i read a funny astrology book at urban outfitters (don't worry i said my shahadah again after i read it), it mentioned a difficulty of letting go of past loves. funny, i'm back to being a local youth group advisor again. and yes, it could be seen as problematic by some that a lingering love for activism and power (thats right, i'll admit it, i wouldn't mind having power, so what?) exists side by side with a new found love for seeking knowledge. but this particular struggle to help my community value its women is not about synthesizing in my own desires (wait, maybe it is and maybe i need to do it) and its definately not about synthesizing my classification of my society. its about communication - plain and simple. a civilization begins with it. and that is what i have a burning desire to establish. communication between my scholars and leaders and activists. i just want more love, is that so wrong?? peace.