It's been two years since I posted on this blog...
Two years since I lost my uncle followed by my mother a few months later to cancer.
I think about what has happened to me since that time and it seems like my life stopped.
I seemed to have lost direction... lost focus... lost a sense of who I am and what I should be doing with my life.

I recently heard the analogy of treading water. Expending energy while not going anywhere in contrast to striving towards excellence. For a while it did feel like and still it still does, that I am not going anywhere...

But what if i am treading water to prevent from drowning? And now that I have saved myself I can start swimming.

This swimming analogy is not bad to understand what happened to me.
In 2013 my ship started sinking,
My uncle was the experienced swimmer who grabbed my hand and started to take us to the shore.
But when he dr....

Scratch that...

We were a sinking ship because we hit an ice berg and spring a few major leaks.
The captain of the ship escaped on a liferaft and left the 1st mate, navigator and mechanic to deal with the leaky boat. The ship kept moving on the preset course while we tried to path up the leaks. Then the mechanic drowned and we started to take on more water and the ship started slowing down. Then the navigator drowned and not only did the ship keep sinking but also drifted off its course. Leaving the 1st mate and a couple of deck hands to keep things afloat. The ship has not sunk. But it’s still sinking fast. And way off course. With the 1st mate having lost hope.

That’s me.
The first mate. Never quite comfortable and confident being the ships captain.
Mainly because I was only on the boat because my dad built it.